Mar 24
2013

Life lately

Life has been busy the past couple of weeks.  The way that I think about food has changed completely.  Baking something just for fun seems wrong and even harmful.  Food is no longer a source of entertainment and pleasure but rather it is a source of stress and conflict.

Two weeks ago I spent the weekend in the hospital with my husband as he was diagnosed and treated for Type I Diabetes.  He is an otherwise healthy and very fit man and so the shock of this completely blind-siding news is still sinking in.  He has a brother with the same disease, but we were still in denial of all of the classic symptoms.

While I am very grateful that this is a manageable disease, it is still a lot to take in and a complete lifestyle change that we will be adapting to for awhile.  I am still immediately worried sick when I see his face get pale and his hands begin to shake when he is experiencing “a low”.  And I am trying so hard not to panic when his blood sugar is unexpectedly high even with our best efforts toward carbohydrate calculation.  I still wince when he lifts his shirt and I see bruises from the injections he gives himself 4-5 times per day.  I am so desperate for my favorite hobby of baking, but it feels so wrong to even have baked goods in the house to tempt him right now.

I am so very thankful and feel so blessed to have such an amazing support system of family and friends.  Shared recipes, cookbooks and advice have been so helpful and the phone calls just to check in and see how we are doing have been comforting beyond belief.

Immediately when I found out about this illness that we will live with every day of the rest of our lives, one of my first thoughts was that I was done with the blog.  But the more i understand how food is not poison or a reason for punishment for him, I am reminded of the “everything in moderation” philosophy.  I will still bake, but now I will use recipe nutrition calculators to determine how many carbohydrate a cookie or  a muffin has so that he can account for the additional carbohydrates and still enjoy a treat once in awhile.  I will not give up my creative outlet, but my process may change slightly.

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you.  Writing is so therapeutic to me and it feels so good to get my feelings out there.

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22 Comments ( Reply )

  1. Cassie | Bake Your Day
    Mar 24, 2013 @ 8:24 pm

    I have been thinking about you lately, remembering the instagram from the hospital. Hang in there, we will be here when you have a chance to bake. I can’t imagine the shock and I’m sure it will take lots of getting used to!

    Reply

    • Mercedes
      Mar 25, 2013 @ 9:04 pm

      Thank you for the support Cassie. It means a lot coming from one of my good blogger friends!

      Reply

  2. luv what you do
    Mar 24, 2013 @ 9:31 pm

    Writing really is therapy and I know the support of your blogger ‘friends’ will help. I’m sorry to hear about your husband and hope that you continue to find a way to blog and share your stories, family recipes and life!

    Reply

    • Mercedes
      Mar 25, 2013 @ 9:05 pm

      Thank you for your kind words Jennifer. The blog will continue once I have a better handle on things. Thank you for the support.

      Reply

  3. Cat
    Mar 24, 2013 @ 11:52 pm

    My thoughts are with the two of you as you manage this huge change. Adapting sweet favorites using new materials (all hail coconut!) was a real comfort to me when health problems forced me to adopt a low-glycemic diet. Getting into the kitchen and experimenting, plus great recipes from long-time low-glycemic foodinistas, took the sting out of a new way of eating that initially seemed so tough. After an adjustment period (about 60-75 days) to get the hang of things, I felt better than I ever did before. Best wishes!

    Reply

    • Mercedes
      Mar 25, 2013 @ 9:07 pm

      Thank your for your words of support and for sharing your own experience Cat. I appreciate your response and encouragement!

      Reply

  4. Sue
    Mar 25, 2013 @ 6:57 am

    I am so sorry to hear about Tyler. Sending my best wishes to both of you.

    Reply

  5. Liz
    Mar 25, 2013 @ 7:54 am

    What a shock to hear that news Mercedes. It will be a lifestyle change for sure, but with the support of friends and family you will make it through. It doesn’t matter what you post on your blog, I’ll keep coming back to check out your delicious recipes and support you through this. Take Care 🙂

    Reply

    • Mercedes
      Mar 25, 2013 @ 9:09 pm

      Thank you for your kind words and encouraging support Liz. It means a lot to hear from my blogging friends!

      Reply

  6. sally @ sallys baking addiction
    Mar 25, 2013 @ 9:21 am

    I’m so sorry to read about all of this Mercedes. Sending you both many, many prayers. What a shock it must have been, but please please keep your chins up. Thinking of you both. xo

    Reply

    • Mercedes
      Mar 25, 2013 @ 9:09 pm

      Thank you Sally, your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated and I am so happy that we have become blogging buddies as well!

      Reply

  7. Tesei
    Mar 25, 2013 @ 3:26 pm

    Dear Mercedes, I know how you feel, we had a similar situation with my 5 year old a couple months ago, just as I was finally setting up my own baking blog. It is horrible to think that your hobby might hurt the people you love most. But think of it as an opportunity to recreate yourself, your blog and your recipes. Every threat is also an opportunity. First, come to terms with your husband’s condition and eventually you’ll find a reason for all of that in your work. I’m still in that process… Be patient and remember, health and family are always first. I send you our prayers and best wishes for your family’s wellbeing. Thank you for sharing, as always!

    Reply

    • Mercedes
      Mar 25, 2013 @ 9:10 pm

      Thank you for sharing your experience and for your kind words of advice Tesei. I hope that your child is doing well and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as well.

      Reply

  8. Julie @ Table for Two
    Mar 25, 2013 @ 9:01 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear the news 🙁 sending you and your family and your husband many thoughts, prayers, and support. *hugs* xoxo

    Reply

    • Mercedes
      Mar 25, 2013 @ 9:11 pm

      Thank you for the thoughts, prayers and support Julie. It helps to here from blogging friends!

      Reply

  9. Laura (Tutti Dolci)
    Mar 26, 2013 @ 6:37 pm

    So sorry to hear this news, Mercedes! I know you are taking great care of him and I hope the adjustment to a new way of eating goes as smoothly as possible!

    Reply

    • Mercedes
      Mar 27, 2013 @ 4:50 pm

      Thank you for the encouragement Laura!

      Reply

  10. Averie @ Averie Cooks
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 8:22 pm

    Mercedes what shocking news and diagnosis and I am so sorry for all of this and for your husband’s pain and suffering with the injections and now for both of you to re-learn how to cook and eat to manage it. I wish you guys the best and your readers will be here if you decide to start baking and writing again!

    Reply

    • Mercedes
      Mar 27, 2013 @ 8:30 pm

      Thank you for your support Averie. Things are getting more manageable each day and it helps to write about it and hear words of encouragement like yours.

      Reply

  11. Anna (Hidden Ponies)
    Apr 11, 2013 @ 12:19 am

    So sorry to hear about this, Mercedes, but also thankful he got the diagnosis so you can figure out how to manage it! I’m glad you’ve decided to keep up the blog, even if the recipes do change a bit. I hope you can figure out a balance that works for both of you to make food enjoyable and exciting again.

    Reply

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